True Interstellar Love
by CelestialBondageSpider
Summary: See our favorite villain protagonist find true love at last, even if it's not what he was expecting!


**True Interstellar Love**

When Invader Zim came to earch, he was a lonely alien and filled with torment.

He said, "I will conquer the earth for my superiosr people!" because he was sent there because no one wanted him since he was verrrry terrible at conquering planets.

Unbenost to him, he also had very much pent up passion to love animals, such as Grr, who was a robot.

"Grr, why do I vengencely hate everything in thi spuny world?" asked Zim.

"GOOGOBLAA!" responded Grr, since he never spoke words because he was moronical.

Every day, Zim tired to take over the world even though his plans always failed, and every day, Zim became sadder and sadder. He was sublimating his sex urges into domination, but not sexual domination like S&M. When Zim saw Grr humping a squirrel, Zim had two very large ideas!

He said in his mind "1. Grr is too large to hump a squirrel, so I must stop him!"

So Zim stooped Grr because the squirrel was about to die of many humps and tumbles on its but.

"2. Grr looked very happy making love to the animal kingdom, for he is at one iwth nature, just like God wants! How do I bacome one with nature? Asked Zim.

Zim first tried to make love with nature by conquering it! Even though he was of advance alien intelligence, he did not know that sex and domination are different unless you are a dominatrix. Zim took his ray gun and went to school with it, but then he was expelled because guns at school are dangrous! Especially, if they are shooting energy instead of bullets, since energy does not ever end and it would go through the whole school and damage every homeroom! Then Zim was sad, because truly he loved learning at school.

"How can I learn without fi;thy school of worm babies?" asked Zim.

He answered to himself in his mind's eye: "I will go back to nature and win its natural affection."

So Zim went to the wild and he saw another squirrel. He awlked up to the squirrel, except it was black and white and bigger than a squirrel!

Zim was going to apologizwe to the squiirel for Grr putting his robot heiny on its face, but then he noticed "That's not the same squirrel since its different colors!" and he shouted "Hey squrrel! You cannot deceive ME! THE GREAT INVADER ZIM!" ;BUT the squirrel responded in quite a funny fashion sense.

He said "Ohoho, my cherry. You are confuzed. For I am not a squirrel, I AM an LOVER!"

Zim says "I hate love. It never made me friends and always left me alone in a dark wilrd without a girlfriend even though I'm in college."

The squirrel said: "My zweet tululu bell, I have come to rezcue you from ze dark world and engulf you in my passionate love-making. My name iz Peppy LaPew, and I am a SKUNK!"

Zim said "What's an earth skunk?"

And Peppy LaPew responds, "A skink iz a man who must show the world hiz love by kizzing it forever! Do you zee, my cherry? Oui were meant to be!"

But then Zim was afraid of commitment, so he said "NO! I will not be you!" he was angry, so he used every exclamation vocabulary to get his point across.

Then Zim ran home, because even though he's not afraid of conquering a huge ball like the world, he fears exposing himself to the harsh winds of the buttressing world, like the blazing speed of a Rapidash in Vermillion city. Zim went home and then he cried, because he knew that he made a very bad mistake to refuse true love, his future husband. After many weeks, Zim woke up one night. His window was broken with rocks!

He thought to himself "I am robbed or am maybe being visted by Peppy skunk. I must take out my lasor gun!"

So Zim took out his gun and started shooting everywhere! He destroyed his own home so that he could protect himself and Grr. But truthfully, Grr was also in the house and he was SHOT by Zim's very own bullets! NOOO! Zim was distrot overy the death of his best friend and only companion- he had destroyed the very think he loved most in this world by protecting his heart... He could not face another day, until Peppy appeared.

Peppy says to Zim "I have invaded your home like you have invaded my world, like you have invaded my heart!" and Zim could no longer refuse to the siren's call of the skunk.

"I will love you for all my days, Armando!" sayd Zim.

Then they two of them started to make out with the passion a thousdand phoenixes! Zim puts his tentacle-tonge into Peppy's mouth and Peppy responds with his own tonge; they were restling each other's tongs for several minutes until they got so hot and sweaty, so Zim took off his shert and Peppy started to strok his spaceman chest. Zim was getting turned on and carried Peppy to his bed, where they would continu making out and fall asleep together. The next morning, Peppy woke up and saw Zim was cryng.

So Peppy asked "Zim, my cherry. What iz wrong?" Then he saw Zim was cutting himself out of inner self-lothing.

Zim was beginning to speech and said "PEPPY! I now need your love. GITs dead and I cannot rebiuld him!"

"Ah, me armor, but we can rebild him! We can with ze POWER OF LOVE! We muzt molest hiz body first so zat he can revive ze love of mozzer nature wizzin. I know it will be hard and against Girs intent, but it is the only way…" Sayd Peppy LaPew while he rubbed Zim's back slowly and softly like goosefeather pillows.

"AHAA!" said Zim. "You have hatched a plan of great genious, so we shall make him whole once more!"

But in the background, Gaz was watching tehm. She was planning to ruin their eternity love by mating with Zim… She was a staker and had many hard times hiding in the grass.

"I will destroy GIR so that Zim will have to be with me!" said Gaz to herself. "Zim will be too weak in heart to be with anyone else once I stop him by… KILLING PEPPY!"

Meanwhile, Zim and Peppy were with Girs corpse, making love with his rob;otic functions and sleek robot anatomy. It was shiny and silver, but also hard to the touch. It felt good as they together carresed the metallic lunge. They moved slowly, enjoying every minute as they touched the cold metal of Gir's forehead, and it made them fall deper in love. The aluminum felt of the matter was thouching and filled with brightness and severity. Together, Zim and Peppy felt like they were gold miners and had just found the ultimate deposit of the precious metal, and they would prosper in spades. Like the lottery with coins and coins in Las Vegas, they apreciated the Cyber hardware of Gir's semiconducer. For the first time, since Gir died, Zim felt peaceful and at one with the dark world of technology that surrounded him and that stood between him and Peppy. Now the technology was between Zim and Peppy on purpose, and they liked the silvery cyber hardness of it. Now Gir could live.

When Gir revived, Gaz knew it was to late, but she also knew that she loved Zim to much to stop now.

"HEY DIB!" shouted Gaz.

"Yes… Gaz?" shivered Dib.

"I want use some of your tecknology!" said Gaz with flaring purple eyes of doom!

"What fore?" asked Dib.

"I need it so I may anillate Peepy LaPew forever!" said Gaz.

"No way! I still need to find a way to defeat Zim and save the humane race!" shouted Dib.

After Gasz heard this, she was not pleased with Dib's carp. So she grabbed Dib's shirt, lift him up, glared at him with her BIG PURPLE EYES and said, "You will give me some of your tecknology or I will make every single waking momet of your liiiiffe A LIVING HELL!"

Dib gulped with fear and said, "Okay Gas, you can use some of my tecknology! Just tell me what you need and I can give it to you."

Then Gaz slimed with glee and said. "Do you gave a super fightnig robot suit that I can use?"

"Why yes, I do have a super fighting robort suit in the garage." said Dibs.

Then Dib lead Gaz to the garge where there was a tool set on the wall with all sots of tools except for an empty space where a hammer would normally be. Then Dib pulled out a hammer out of his pocket and placed it in the empoty space. Next, the tool shed pulled back and revaled a secret lab with all sorts of robots and machines. Then they walk up to the fighting robot suit.

"Here we are, sweet sitter of mine. The Fist-n-Pound Mecha 9000!" said Dib.

Gaz stared at the machin with awe and amazement.

Mean while, Zim and Peppy were at their cozy home celebreating their revival of Gir. Gir was jumping up and down on the ceiling while gobbling up TONS of tacos, his favorite food.

"Tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos!" Shouted Gir, as he flung the ceiling.

"Ah my cherry," said Peppy, "izn't thees the life? Now we have all ze time in ze world too love with robotic frenzy."

But then… A GIANT ROBOT SUITE BROKE INTO THE ROOM! It was covered in deadly spikes, and was welding a giant chainsaw. It also had laser horns on its head, because it was shaped like a Gundam Wing. Down came the walls of Zim's beloved home, and he could barely take the tragedy of losing two things he owned (Gir and his house) destroyed in one day, even though Gir came back to life. Zim saw it was a woman piloting the suit, and he aws a major massagenist (AN: HE IS A VILLIN AFTER ALL!), so he screamed loudly to get her attention.

"Who are you, love slut?" demanded Zim.

"Don't you remember me, sexy Zim? I AM GAZ!" said Gaz, "Peppy is flooding your mind with false homosexuality, so Peppy must die! I am your only love!"

Gaz spun her robot sword around her mecha, and intimidated Peppy- he was not used to having robots in his very own living room! Zim, however, was prepared for this very circumstance, even though he expected Dib and not Gaz.

Zim took out of his pocket a tiny remote, which he was keeping for just the occasion. He pushed the button on it to summon his own robot. Unlike Gaz, it was green and had pincher hands. It also had antenna to show it was an alien mecha, and laser eyes to destory its enemies.

"This is the final showdown!" screamed Zim in righeous anger!

"I don't want to fight you, Zim" whined Gaz. "I only want to kill Peppy, so we can be together. He's making you gay!"

But Zim would have not of this, so he took the first swing with the battering ram. It smashed the crotch of Gaz's robot, which damaged its capacity control. Gaz then tried to retrain Zim by holding down his bludgeon arms with her robot's feet. But then she couldn't walk to Peppy to kill him so she started shooting her lasers at Peppy. Fortunately, Gaz was a emo and she couldn't operate heavy machinery, and she kept missing the deboneair. skunk.

Then Zim foot punched Gaz's robot with extreme power, right in the laser eyes so she couldn't see anything and she started pincering in the air in his attempts to cut off Gaz's arms. Seeing that she cold only murder Peppy in cold blood if she first killed Zim's robot, Gax took a Jurassic measure. She flipped on the vex-pulsinator tort capacitater, which powered up her machine to the level of death maker. Even though she had the motherly capability to make alien life in her belly, she now had a more potent force at her disposal; the power to make alien death! She was like Death, the skeleton, she was invincible and superbly deadly, dark as the night like Spawn. Suddenly, without explosion, Gaz's robot overpowered because she had been in the extreme mode for too long that it wasn't desined for. In this suit that made her death, she instead found death knocking at her door. Gaz's lsat moments were her robot turning into acid and thinking that she made the worst mistake by trying to force Zim to date her against his inner sexuality.

"Zim was not right for me," thought Gaz, "I hope he has a fulfilling life with his lover, the sknuk. Even though, I want to date him, I know its not meant to be and now I must leave this cruel world."

In her dying moments, battery acid from the machine killed her and she died.

Zim, finally tired of the fight, looked at his first and only love, Peppy LaPew with terible insight. Form the wreackage, Zim could see the lustrous dalmation coat of his lover, cherishing every last drop. He knew that it was true interstellar love, so they should get married. And they did. When Zim found out that aliens and skunks are different anatomical creatures, he decided to stay with him anyway, because they were true to each other and made unbreakable vows of silence. And they lived happily ever after in Subrubia.

**THE END.**


End file.
